Where the fuck is my brain?
Hi, I'm Sarah. At least, I think I am. I think, therefore I am? I don't know. And that's what's happening to my brain.
I'm sitting in Collective Coffee in Charleston, South Carolina and I'm having a full brain reset. There are easily forty people in here, a dozen of whom are millennials doing exactly what I'm doing: sitting on their computies, working on whatever it may be, passing this dreary Monday morning away.
Every few months, everything in my world begins to catch up with me. I need to remember, or dare I say, "SCHEDULE" time to take care of myself. My husband, Jeff, & I have taken a long weekend to ourselves to visit some of his family in Charleston. I would move here tomorrow, if I could. The weather is fantastic, the people are incredibly sweet & the entire lifestyle is just a bit slower than I'm used to, which... I could get used to. We try to come down here at least once a year so that we can reset ourselves; so we can sit in a coffee shop and read the book we've put off, or reply to the ten thousand emails sitting in our inboxes (not so much my inbox, that she's clean AF), or add SkillShare classes to my queue and continue learning so I can continue DOING. Really though, that's what this post is about.
Consistent with my previous paragraphs about emotional resetting - the past few weeks have been trying on my brain. Not for any reason in particular, there was no catalyst or event or conversation, but Ive been feeling shitty. Maybe something is in retrograde. Maybe I am. Our wedding anniversary was last week & that's always a difficult time for us both, because of the ups & downs of those months of our life three years ago. It's challenging to celebrate something so happy, while also remembering the emotions that were looming just under the surface. Knowing that a few short months after the "best day of our life" would be The Worst Day Of Our Life. We had a videographer document the early parts of our wedding day, and we asked him (being a friend of ours) if we could just have the raw footage so we could make our own wedding video. Three years have passed & neither he nor I have had the guts to go through & watch the videos from our wedding. We have ONE physical photograph from our wedding on display in our home; it lives in our bedroom on our desk & it's of Jeff & his mother during their Mother/Son dance. In today's day & age it's been increasingly easy to document EVERYTHING anyone says or does. And it's wonderful to be able to look back on loved ones we've lost & hear their voices again, or see their smiles. However, we still can't do it. We still can't gather ourselves enough to sit down, watch, process, edit & share our fucking wedding video. It's too goddamn hard. Little did we know. Maybe we should have just asked our guy to make it for us. But he wouldn't have known that every second of video of Jeff's mom would be the seconds we truly care about most. To be COMPLETELY honest, since we haven't watched any of it we don't even know if she's in any of them. What if she isn't?
BUT ANYWAY. The reason Im dumping all of this out: as a gift, for our anniversary, Jeffrey put all of the videos from our wedding on an external drive for me. He also is sharing his Adobe Creative Suite with me so I can get myself back into video editing, which I did minimally in high school, but more extensively in college (the first time around) and completely gave up once I started working, except once or twice a year when I was allowed that creative freedom at my ART. MUSEUM. JOB. He also signed me up for SkillShare and I am so grateful.
I've queued up two dozen videos already on topics ranging from video editing, to pottery, to web development. I can't wait to make myself a priority again, so I can not only learn new skills but also further develop skills I've already got.
I am already anticipating learning SO much from this blog & you ladies. I can only hope that I can provide y'all with valuable information as well.
Let's reset ourselves.
 |
| Also acceptable, Andy Samberg as Cathy |
I'm sitting in Collective Coffee in Charleston, South Carolina and I'm having a full brain reset. There are easily forty people in here, a dozen of whom are millennials doing exactly what I'm doing: sitting on their computies, working on whatever it may be, passing this dreary Monday morning away.
Every few months, everything in my world begins to catch up with me. I need to remember, or dare I say, "SCHEDULE" time to take care of myself. My husband, Jeff, & I have taken a long weekend to ourselves to visit some of his family in Charleston. I would move here tomorrow, if I could. The weather is fantastic, the people are incredibly sweet & the entire lifestyle is just a bit slower than I'm used to, which... I could get used to. We try to come down here at least once a year so that we can reset ourselves; so we can sit in a coffee shop and read the book we've put off, or reply to the ten thousand emails sitting in our inboxes (not so much my inbox, that she's clean AF), or add SkillShare classes to my queue and continue learning so I can continue DOING. Really though, that's what this post is about.
Consistent with my previous paragraphs about emotional resetting - the past few weeks have been trying on my brain. Not for any reason in particular, there was no catalyst or event or conversation, but Ive been feeling shitty. Maybe something is in retrograde. Maybe I am. Our wedding anniversary was last week & that's always a difficult time for us both, because of the ups & downs of those months of our life three years ago. It's challenging to celebrate something so happy, while also remembering the emotions that were looming just under the surface. Knowing that a few short months after the "best day of our life" would be The Worst Day Of Our Life. We had a videographer document the early parts of our wedding day, and we asked him (being a friend of ours) if we could just have the raw footage so we could make our own wedding video. Three years have passed & neither he nor I have had the guts to go through & watch the videos from our wedding. We have ONE physical photograph from our wedding on display in our home; it lives in our bedroom on our desk & it's of Jeff & his mother during their Mother/Son dance. In today's day & age it's been increasingly easy to document EVERYTHING anyone says or does. And it's wonderful to be able to look back on loved ones we've lost & hear their voices again, or see their smiles. However, we still can't do it. We still can't gather ourselves enough to sit down, watch, process, edit & share our fucking wedding video. It's too goddamn hard. Little did we know. Maybe we should have just asked our guy to make it for us. But he wouldn't have known that every second of video of Jeff's mom would be the seconds we truly care about most. To be COMPLETELY honest, since we haven't watched any of it we don't even know if she's in any of them. What if she isn't?
BUT ANYWAY. The reason Im dumping all of this out: as a gift, for our anniversary, Jeffrey put all of the videos from our wedding on an external drive for me. He also is sharing his Adobe Creative Suite with me so I can get myself back into video editing, which I did minimally in high school, but more extensively in college (the first time around) and completely gave up once I started working, except once or twice a year when I was allowed that creative freedom at my ART. MUSEUM. JOB. He also signed me up for SkillShare and I am so grateful.
I've queued up two dozen videos already on topics ranging from video editing, to pottery, to web development. I can't wait to make myself a priority again, so I can not only learn new skills but also further develop skills I've already got.
I am already anticipating learning SO much from this blog & you ladies. I can only hope that I can provide y'all with valuable information as well.
Let's reset ourselves.
I read someplace sometime about something Peter Cohen VA said - about asking yourself if what you're doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteYou're one of the most achieved people I know and admirably, you are always always looking to develop yourself . That's our Scorpio.
But you know, some of the most cathartic experiences we will have, require us to muster the most courage..... The hard stuff yields the most growth. So, that being said, I can't wait to finally see some footage of me sobbing for 6 hours at your wedding xo
The time is now. So glad you guys are able to take those moments. I can’t wait to see what you create! I hope it won’t stop at this personal project.
ReplyDelete